Personality: Impression vs Understanding

How does a first impression affect one to understand somebody?

When meeting a new person, one would try to understand behaviour based on the first impression, attributes, and status of a person. If a person is well-behaved and has a better conversational ability, the person could receive more positive feedbacks.

The first impression is profound if you are in a new environment or large social settings. In a new environment, it is essential to make an impression that meets most people expectations, which is not clearly defined. On the other hand, in social settings, the first impression is fundamental for define one’s position in the social network.

One may perceive others based on the first impression. With the proximity effect, one could relatively amplify the perception towards a person if one has a chance to get close with a person. If one has a good impression, one could have a much better impression, and vice versa.

In other perception, if one wants to get an in-depth understanding of a person. It is essential to observe the behaviour of one during the interaction with other people with a different attribute. From there, one could see what is the value of another person and not following the first impression,

Moreover, a clear understanding beyond the first impression will improve communication. The communication would be more effective and benefit both parties, with the condition when applied wisely. By consistently having the same personality with the impression with the ability to understand people, one could provide value to the others.

How do you understand people around you?

The Courage to Facing Issue

When facing an unfriendly person, are you going to avoid it or facing it bravely?

Every day various challenge comes either from external or internal. While facing a challenge, one’s attitude often deciding the outcome of an issue. With countless possibilities, one could solve the problem with little to no effort. On the other hand, another has anxiety caused by the difficulty to find a solution.

Human, with a dualism personality, is often the one that generates the problem for one another. Depends on tolerance, one prefers a person with favourable traits. It depends on the value that one believes. On the other hand, if it is against what one believes, one may suffer and avoiding them.

When facing the people that possess traits that against one, one would change and adapt the behaviour to handle people. Therefore, the behaviour differs from benefitting other people, such as tolerance, submissive, and distress. There is also behaviour that confronts others from arguing until fighting back.

It is confusing to decide whether to tolerate other behaviours or voicing out unpleasant feeling towards another. One faces it frequently when encountering an authority. If one gives in on the problem, it will induce resentment and erode one’s confidence. On the other hand, directly confronting them would harm oneself.

Instead of winning over an argument and being resentful, one needs to be objective and rational to find the root cause. Ideally speaking, it could be challenging for most people if the issue is related to personal behaviour issue. However, being objective does not mean people themselves are not the root cause.

If the confrontation is unavoidable, facing it straightly could be the best solution. By fighting for own rights, one could retain the respect of other people and let others know your boundary. On another side, one could be braver in facing issues and keep being strong in adversity. Therefore, when one is facing a problem, standing straight and facing the issue courageously.

What kind of issue that you need to face straightforwardly?

A Fragile Persona

Why an inconsistent persona makes one getting fragile emotionally?

Persona, an individual identity, is a character that delivers from a person to his/her environment. Because of a multitude of personality and characteristic, everyone has a persona that distinguishes one from the others. From the persona, one subconsciously hopes others to perceive oneself from the way one presented to others.

Due to one needs to be accepted by society, one’s persona sometimes differs from the real identity. The differences are worsened by social media makes one tries to share how perfect life is and what kind of achievement one had. In a way, it shows what a person cares about not only from social media but also from the way one socialize.

When one aims ideally towards a persona, it could make one changes into a better way. Positively, one could aim for the best to have that ideal persona. A hardworking student is trying his best to achieve a better grade. A novice singer rehearses regularly to have the hope of becoming a rising star. The difference between a persona and oneself motivates oneself to pursue an identity that resembles one’s ideal persona.

On the other hand, while one is over-obsessed on a persona while not working towards it in their real life. It will generate hiatus between an identity that one tries to shape and the inner self. It is an issue particularly for people under other’s attention, such as politicians, artists, influencers, etc. It doesn’t mean that it will not happen to an ordinary person.

If one could pay less attention to what other people thinks of oneself. The persona that one delivers would have a less obvious hiatus with the inner self. Human needs status and validation for their psychological needs. It would be challenging to integrate their persona with the inner self, especially since the persona is formed from a series of dishonest actions.

One should try to integrate the ideal persona that one wishes to be with the action. Moreover, one should not promote a fake persona. Other than it would generate an adverse psychological impact, it would also intoxicate others into aiming an astray persona. Therefore, a robust persona is a way to get self-validation and self-actualization.

“A persona is ideal, but do not let the ideal destroy your emotional state.”

What kind of persona do you have? Is it the real persona that you wish?

Vacation, A Relief or A Disaster?

Do you feel happy when you are on holiday?

Vacation, a haven from daily stress, has become a goal and dream for most people. One could imagine laying down in a beach chair drinking lime juice. Another could contemplate enjoying a historical site in a new environment. Vacation undeniably has become a haven to recharge oneself into an optimal state.

An individual has a preferred style of holiday. One enjoys rushing to various places in a city for taking pictures to upload into social media. Another enjoys conversing with new people while strolling around the local hawker centre while enjoying a slower life pace. Ideally speaking, the experience could be much better or worse. In terms of the negative aspects, what makes it goes wrong?

People formed up a significant factor of how one feels during a holiday. Both are difficult to achieve mutual satisfaction if there are different goals for the vacation. Imagine when one wants to go shopping in the free duty shopping, while another is looking forward to a culinary tour. The holiday that one dreamt has turned into a time, money, and emotional wastage only because of different goals.

Travelling following through a travel agent can save up a lot of time of planning. It is also a chance for meeting new people throughout the tour. However, one could often visit travel attractions that are overcrowded in a short period. Although several people are satisfied going through a tour agency, it could be troublesome for some who don’t get used to rushing.

Improper planning also contributes to the possible chaotic vacation experience. When one is planning improperly, one could not maximize experiences that one wishes before the departure. Moreover, after one has reached the location, one may not know where to go and encountered some issues that can be eliminated through planning.

Various people have their predicament during the holidays. In the end, making a consensus with others and proper planning could prevent us to encountered some unnecessary issues. While incorporating one’s travelling style with the mitigation action, one could have a memorable and meaningful holiday.

“Vacation can be a disaster or a relief depends on our actions.”

What action can you implement to make your vacation getting more meaningful?

Virtue Signaling vs Real Validation

What is the real motive of one doing virtue signaling? How does it divert one from real validation?

When one opens social media, it shows a multitude of sympathy actions to condemn and criticize inequality. These actions flocks when the news has started to announce something. When one does not even know what’s going on, one has immediately stated an opinion directly. The argument stated is more often unaligned with what one believes without a further understanding of the incident.

This phenomenon is called virtue signal, where one intends to show a positive image through a dishonest personal viewpoint. Despite the dishonesty, the action intentional. On the other hand, the expression is through willful ignorance.

Of course, one needs to be incentivized for the action, not exceptional for virtue signalling. One may feel good about spreading a positive influence to others. This action boosts one happiness through the sense of importance one has.

Another reason is the bandwagon effect, where people just merely following the crowd. To get accepted, following groups seems like a plausible action. This cognitive bias is an aftermath of human evolutionary behaviour, human as a social creature needs to have social proof.

What makes the virtue signal dangerous to the one who signals? First, it gives an impression of inauthentic to others, where the initial motive of getting validation makes one losing it. Second, the collective efforts of virtue signalling could alter society based on the intention of news spreader. In other words, one could manipulate another using another’s greed on validation.

The issue arises when one has set a persona that diverts from the real persona. When the persona is inconsistent, it could let people live in imagination and could push the signalman further from reality. The imbalance of imaginary and reality generate hiatus in personality.

From the above points, one may think that virtue signal is purely inducing negative impacts. However, at least it may increase social awareness and inspiring others. Therefore, if one could optimally harnessing it, one could get real validation and inspire other people.

Inspire on what you doinfluence others of what you mean.”

What is your action to prevent yourself from virtue signal?

The Ability of Storytelling and Experience

How does the ability of storytelling and experience correlated with social progression?

Converse with others formed as a part of the socialization process. Within the conversation, various topics are delivered concerning the situation and the person one talks. One may share recent events or complain about a recent complication among colleagues with close pals. One may discuss vacation planning for the upcoming family holiday with parents.

The basis of the conversation is mainly from what one experiences. If two individuals have vastly different experience in their life, they will hardly relate with each other during the conversation. Other than due to the domain dependency, it may reflect the life values that one believes in.

From a myriad of experience, one could tell a story subjectively of what one feels during the experience. Despite a single experience last ephemerally, it generates a reaction that will constitute one view towards an incident. With an ability to influence others, one will convey an opinion through storytelling.

Although a story from experience may bias, it provides an idea and picture of a single matter. One may subconsciously learn from one another through storytelling. Every individual could not get a chance to experience. Stories and legends work as guidance from one to another.

However, the effect of storytelling is not as memorable as experience. It also explains that why a fresh graduate may deem not as competent as experienced people. It may due to the lesson that one learns is not relevant to the industry demand. Therefore, to completely master a skill, one needs to have first-hand experience to solve situations.

Overall, storytelling and experience shape one’s skill and world view. Through both, one could develop in a direction. Collectively, it could improve the progression of society. To improve oneself, one needs to converse and experience novel things to make a better self.

“The ability of storytelling and experiencing results in a development of humankind.”

What kind of story and experience that forms your identity?

Dependency and Versatility

Why should less dependent on a single component? Why should diversify the dependence on others?

As social creatures, humans are helping each other to enjoy a better life. When one has born, almost every things that one consumed based on the labour of others. On a bigger scale of the picture, what one enjoys is collectively the hard work and support from society.

Based on the statement, one can be dependent on society to survive. As one may have physical and emotional needs, one could depend on a person more heavily than another. For instance, an employee is more dependent on the employer; a boy is more dependent on his mom, or even a supplier is more dependent on his customers.

The over-reliance on a person or object induces consequences. The over-reliance nurtures one’s indolence on complacency, which make one getting sluggish and relying other people on solving a problem that solved by oneself. Another consequence of the over-reliance is the instability towards any changes that will affect the thing that one relies on others.

The complacency from the over-reliance will make one comfortable initially. When one is getting used to it, one will form behaviour of taking the assistance for granted and believe other people will solve it. When one is forced to solve the same issue in the future, one might not solve it and humiliate oneself in front of people. This issue happens commonly in a family that is spoiling their child. When the child has grown up, this issue is intensified and hardly the solution.

Additionally, when one has over-reliance on a single source, it will create instability when the single-source has ceased to supply/solve the issue of one. For instance, a rich kid without any survival skills suddenly informed that his parents getting an accident. All of a sudden, he will be directionless and confused, other than grievance.

To counteract these issues, one should find a way to reduce reliance on others. Several solutions are suggested to mitigate it once one still has chances. If one is heavily dependent on a single source, try to find a solution by being independent or learning a new skill. When one could manage to solve problems and diversify the dependency to more people, one could be an independent individual.

“The more versatile you are, the less dependent you will be.”

What is your solution to reduce dependency on others?

The Benefit of Sharing Knowledge

Why should we share our knowledge with other people?

Facing an unfamiliar problem is a challenging task for most people, especially when it is not within the domain of competence. It is struggling when one may feel unrelatable when facing an unfamiliar situation or problem. For instance, when one doesn’t understand some unfamiliar topics.

Learning is necessary for one to overcome unfamiliarity. When one has spent the time to overcome it, one may think the solved problem is not that challenging. There are various ways to understand an issue, through a book, the Internet, or even asking people.

Here comes a question, why should we share our knowledge with other people? Personally speaking, there are several benefits of sharing our knowledge: improving and rectify concept, practising empathy, and improving a relationship.

First and foremost, improving and rectify our knowledge. By sharing knowledge with others, we will refresh and strengthen our understanding by teaching it to other people. Moreover, when one is trying to come with a question, it will sharpen our critical thinking. If we could not answer the question, it will make us try to improve our knowledge.

Secondly, if one has found a mistake in our arguments. one could quickly rectify it and clarify our concept. Additionally, one could be grateful and getting more confident by teaching other people. By forming a good habit of helping, it eventually makes the overall society getting better long term.

Lastly, the people that we share the knowledge tend to be grateful for what we share. It happens especially to the person who needs our help. Therefore, when we encountered a problem, the person we help may help us in the future. Given that the person that we assist is not taking our help for granted.

To conclude, the knowledge that we have may not last forever in our mind. To fully utilize knowledge by sharing it with others, and sharing is not merely caring only. By sharing knowledge, it does not only benefit yourself but also creating a better world.

Sharing knowledge is a beautiful way to make the world become a better place.”

What knowledge that you are most confident to share with other people?

News, Emotion, and Action

What is your feeling when you read the news. Do you feel angry, happy, or is there any other feeling?

In this era, one could gather information with several clicks. It is convenient to have a real-time update of any incidents in other parts of the world. For example, there is news about a grand opening ceremony of an event or a war ongoing in a disputed region.

When one reads the news, the media who presented it may alter people opinion on perceiving an incident. If the information is presented provocatively, one will feel contempt towards and negatively perceive the incident. On the other hand, if a notorious accident is presented in a manipulated way, one may think it is reasonable to let such accidents happen.

A media always has a standpoint of view depends on what the state or media owner interest in. The same news can be presented in different ways and contrast styles. With the contradictive argument, one may be confused about which media present it correctly. It also shows the distinction is meant to shape public stigma towards an event.

Other than official media, the news could be gathered through other unofficial sources, such as messaging services and online groups. From these sources, although the information is often spread faster. However, it is more often erroneous and misleading. Therefore, one should be careful in filtering what one received.

Based on the above arguments, one may think that since the news are not reliable, should one avoid reading the information? In my opinion, the answer is yes and no. It is almost impossible for the information to be presented in a completely objective way, and it should not be. However, if a news source will provoke you to be opinionated, one should beware of the news given.

In the end, news has been a valuable source for one to connect with the world. In this fast-paced world, one needs to filter news clearly, which could be mitigated in two ways. Firstly, think about who will be benefitted from the news. Secondly, analyzing the news or accepting different inputs or opinion. With the mitigation action, one will perceive news wisely and have a better view of the world.

“Do not let news control your emotions and actions.”

What is the last time you have a content or contempt feeling because of news?

Goal and Action: An Intertwined Journey

Should one be more focus on goal or actions?

After graduation from a school or university, one is often confused about career selection. In school, a student is guided by teachers and achievement are set for one to achieve. However, after graduation, despite an underlying benchmark from society, a journey is no longer fully decided by the outside environment.

From the upbringing and influence of others in childhood, one has decided a way of living. Some people have a goal for their life journey. Some may choose to go with the flow – enjoying the process. On the other hand, some may pay attention to either both or none. Therefore, what should one focus on, action or goal, to have a worthwhile life journey?

The goal, an aim towards a point, usually are set to make one’s life have a guideline. One may have a goal to buy a car in 5 years or save money for travelling the world. A goal is often associated with a milestone that indicates wealth. Another may treat goal as a checkpoint in life, such as want to marry at a certain age or completing a life checklist.

Focusing on a goal often means going through many obstacles. One may overcome the obstacle in several ways. Some are setting minor tasks and correspondingly clearing them. The others may try to find a shortcut to complete the tasks. One issue of too focused on the goal is one may ignore the conscience, which one could rectify through actions.

Action, which accounts for most of the time of a journey, is where the concrete steps taken. Often, action needs to be under the guidance of a goal. Actions will likely get astray and become effortless without a clear direction. Conversely, a goal without action is merely a dream that is not actualized.

Goal and action, that intertwined with each other, are both important in a person’s journey. None of them is more important than each other. One could optimize what one wishes by focusing on the goal and action in the right mindset and harness it in the correct method.

Goal and action are two intertwined element for a meaningful life journey.”

What are your current goal and the concrete action that makes your life meaningful?